I truly believe that self-love is the most important love of all. Does that sound selfish? It really isn’t because a person who has ample self-love is secure enough to not depend on others for all the wrong reasons.
Self-love is liberating as it enables us to not enter the most important relationships in our life with the mindset of getting something out of them. As vicious patterns of neediness break, we learn to celebrate our partnerships and relationships as the holy grounds for unconditional love that they truly are.
If you have always been too busy taking care of others, it’s time to stop and reconsider your priorities. No matter what anyone else says, self-love is not selfishness. Making time to take care of your body, mind and soul is a holy ritual you adopt to honor the Divine within.
If self-care isn’t part of your daily routine yet, then start by taking out a few minutes each day only for yourself. In this time, do something you have always wanted to do but felt you don’t have enough time for. It could be something simple like learning a new skill, adopting a hobby, or maybe, even just digitally disconnecting yourself and relaxing.
Why is Self-love important?
As humans, our greatest hankering is after love. Each one of us craves for a love so deep and true that it can hold us in its arms forever. However, for most of us, finding such a love through another human being has been nothing more than an endeavor in disappointment. In fact, even those who believe that they have found total fulfillment in their relationships, go through moments of deep disappointment.
Although it’s only natural to turn outwards for love, true satisfaction can be found only by turning inwards. What lies within is the Truth; everything outside is only a mirror reflection of what’s contained within. If you want others to love you, you have to love yourself first. People will always take cues from how you treat yourself, and they, in turn, will treat you similarly.
Also, self-love is not selfish at all because how can you ever give to another what you don’t have for yourself? If you’ll enter a relationship feeling like there’s a gaping hole which another person will fill in for you, then you are really just setting yourself up for disappointment.
No one can ever fulfill you. Love is the essence of our being – the fountain of infinite unconditional love is within. When we are connected with the Universe or Source, we are able to gain our sustenance from within. The Divine nectar of infinite love is already flowing in our hearts – it’s our ignorance which has made us believe otherwise.
Below are a few suggestions for self-care that you can incorporate into your daily life. Loving yourself, first and foremost, is about celebrating who you are. Take your pick and adopt the rituals that appeal to you – feel free to modify them to suit your needs:
- Make time for your meals – Before you work on devoting a certain amount of time to self-care, it’s important to infuse mindfulness in the things that you are already doing. Eating is one of the greatest acts of self-care as that’s how you nourish your body, mind, and soul. Make it a daily ritual to eat all your meals in peace. Set your phone and other electronic gadgets aside – sit down with peace and happy anticipation in your heart to truly relish each meal. Discard the habit of eating while walking or doing anything else and develop the habit of chewing each bite of food with the kind of total mindfulness it deserves. As you eat, imagine how each morsel is making you healthier, happier and more beautiful.
- Relax in the bath – There is nothing anywhere as decadent as a warm bath with essential oils, aromatic candles and soft music in the background. It is one of those little pleasures in life that can account for great joy if one chooses to make time for it. I would suggest making this a daily bedtime or waking up ritual. Each bath session will help you feel more grounded and truly soaked in unconditional love. You can also add some organic homemade scrubs and packs to better take care of your lovely skin. There is something deeply self-assuring about touching your own self with gentleness, kindness, and care. Give this gift to yourself because you truly deserve it!
- Develop the habit of reading – Reading positive books can be tremendously empowering and deeply healing. Choose your books with care – anything that leaves you feeling angry or unhappy is not the right choice. There is already a lot of pain and suffering in this world – the whole point of self-care is to surround yourself with so much love and positivity that the darkness of this world can’t touch you. Thanks to technology, you can now also listen to audio books while doing your daily chores. Make this investment in your mind and soul by feeding it only with positive thoughts.
- Connect with nature – Take a walk in your local park or somewhere in nature. Simply being surrounded by nature has a deeply soothing effect on us. If you are up for it, then you can also consider taking a walk barefoot in the grass. With every breath that you are taking in, visualize as if you are absorbing the life force energy of nature. Upon every exhalation, visualize releasing all your tensions, stresses and worries.
- Build your meditation practice – Building a daily meditation practice is the greatest gift you can give to yourself. Meditation calms the mind – it brings us back in touch with our truth. Find a practice that appeals to you and which you can do twice every day. While you can meditate at any time of the day, the best time for doing it is right after you wake up and right before you retire to bed because that’s when the doors of your subconscious are left wide open. At that point, whatever goes inside your mind is likely to leave a deep impact on your life and your consciousness.
Start today because it all begins with just one gesture. Wishing you a wonderful journey of infinite unconditional love!